i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Say something about gay babies.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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