Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
