Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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