wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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