I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
