does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
