i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
