STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize