hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Randomize
