I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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