I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
