mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
