he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
