She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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