ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
