His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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