How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
