HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
It's Friday. Sex?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
