How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
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She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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