Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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