Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
