i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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