drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
