whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
