I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
