You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
