Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
