I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
