i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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