my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner