haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash