We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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