You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
