stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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