i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
