Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
