hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
