You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
