Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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