Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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