he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
