clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
