The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
