just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
