i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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