so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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