I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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