Its about making memories worth repressing
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
