Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
