that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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