OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
