I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
