Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
