He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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