You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
