Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
