At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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