Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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