Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
