I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
