im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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