What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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