Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize