quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
