the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
