I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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